Are you as terrified of this man as I am? Does he reach into the weird Matthew Barney parts of your brain and then jiggle his finger into the mucous and fatty lobes of where you make sense of the world? But that shirt, wowza, this guy looks like he just came off a Carnival cruise ship that’s destination was the Bermuda Triangle, 18 years later, no food, no drinks, just sheer “otherness.”

If this guy asked me for a quarter on the street one day I’d punch him and then run away to the nearest Bed Bath and Beyond and hide myslef in the world’s biggest pile of pillows and blankets and all things down until I mellowed out. Then I’d eat a bowl of soup.

The reality is this guy is a professional model that participated in a Yohji Yamamoto fashion show in the Forbidden City in Beijing. China is hurting these days, doggies! People are getting lessons on how to be civil and not spit everywhere they go. They are leading the pack in human rights violations and now they’ve hosted a fashion show with a model that looks like a pale anorexic Frankenstein with a Beatles wig on, to boot. You go, China.