How’s that rose made out of Dove chocolate working on your main squeeze? Did you hook up the smoking hot lady who works around the corner from you with a dag-nasty Russell Stovers box this year? Did Red Lobster finally pull you in to thinking that a seafood bonanza for $19.95 is the way to your girls heart? Oh my oh my, I know players, this romance thing is no joke. Breaking out of the box and thinking strategically is not just for meetings and interviews, if you want to be rich in matters larger than cash money, it’s time to branch out and get crazy.

I called E on Wednesday afternoon, she had just got fresh out of the dentist chair (sweetest kisses this side of heaven, baby!) and told her to pack her bag for an overnight adventure. We hopped in the Subie and drove West on California 128 towards Highway 1. California 128 winds through non-touristy Northern California, more cattle ranches than vineyards. Once you get down from the mountains the road cruises through 150 foot redwoods packed tightly together on spongy moss and fern covered soil.

Coming, literally, out of the woods, CA 128 meets Highway 1 just south of Albion where estuary rich land meets the magnificent, daunting crashing Pacific. About 15 minutes of sexy Hwy 1 curves and we turned off at our destination for the evening, Heritage House located in Little River.

The digs


I tried to get these birds to fly in a heart shape, but they just acted all wild about it, whatevs


You wait and wait and finally you get this inner-sensation like a warm tingling inside your ears and then it’s go time, sunset style




It can be rough sometimes, this romance game, that’s why you don’t mess with the wrong guy who’s not going to take this stuff seriously, just look at The Mayor standing there, befriending danger like “you act cool and I’ll buy you a beer later, just don’t tweak and everything will be cream cheese, get my drift?”


You see, you gotta think, “how am I going to make this woman feel like she’s the Queen of all things for this one time?”  Not so hard friends, you got put the sugar in the pudding before it’s going to taste right.  How’s this for ya?  The Babe and her kingdom.


As for the details, I would be no kind of gentleman and true artist if I were to go yapping like a guest host on The View, but let’s all agree it was a warm and toasty night for all parties included.  Don’t trip, be the best strong person and you can be and live well.